


Touchdown!

by FairythePigeon (Me_aGlorifiedPigeon)



Series: Pigeon's Fluffuary Anthology!!! [12]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Asexual Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Deceit Sanders Has a Different Name, Innuendo, It's Remus What did you expect, Jock Virgil, M/M, Photographer Logan, School Newspaper Patton, Wingman Remus, cheerleader roman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:22:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22674778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Me_aGlorifiedPigeon/pseuds/FairythePigeon
Summary: Drake has the worst crush situation, seeing as it's the same situation four times over! Remus insists he give asking them a shot though. Maybe something good will come out of it all in the end!Fluffuary Day 12 - DLAMP!!!
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil/Creativity | Roman/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton/Deceit Sanders
Series: Pigeon's Fluffuary Anthology!!! [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1618432
Comments: 7
Kudos: 106





	Touchdown!

Drake watched as the school’s head cheerleader and the star quarterback flirted at the edge of the field. The yearbook photographer was taking photos of the player’s warm-ups, and snarking in their direction, while the school newspaper’s main journalist interviewed the coach rather nearby. The four most popular and ineligible boys in school. Drake just  _ had _ to have a crush on each and every single one of them.

It was sophomore year when rising football star Virgil Storm was asked on a date by spunky little cheerleader Roman Castle. It was quite the surprise when the two of them revealed a plot to ask yearbook photographer Logan Berry to the junior prom about a year later. Then, at the prom, all three of them had danced and made out with the school paper’s most well known fluff-piece-writing journalist, Patton Love.

Drake hadn’t been to prom last year. He’d been with Remus Castle, smoking and defacing the school while all the teachers were at the hotel for the prom, complaining about how Remus’ brother was too hot and stealing all of Drake’s crushes.

“Sounds like you’re crushing on the A List pretty hard there,” Remus had teased, and while Drake had denied it, he’d been absolutely crushed on the last Monday of the year, the first Monday after the prom, when he heard the rumors.

Then, of course, the four of them went traipsing through the halls, hand in hand in hand in hand. Drake could’ve screamed. He was sure he screamed. He definitely passed out. It was not his proudest moment, but that was last year.

This year, he’d spent nearly the whole time watching the four of them with a dreading envy. This was their senior year. The five of them would graduate after this, and those four would go off to college together, adjusting their dreams for one another like the perfect polycule they were, and Drake would be on his own.

It was the last game of the season. Virgil would be moving on to swim team in the spring. Drake had never been to his swim practices, but he’d seen him changing in the locker room. There’s no way he’d survive watching him at swim practice. He’d barely made it through the one competition he’d attended. Virgil was just…

“Are you thinking about Virgey’s big fat-”

“Remus, we are in  _ school _ !” Drake hissed at the disgusting teen leaning towards him and invading his personal space. It was bad enough that Remus had decided to sit so close when the bleachers were so ridiculously empty.

“School’s over! They can’t censor me on a football field, I can say what I fucking want, and if I wanna call my brother’s boyfriend’s dick a tasty as fuck man sausage then I shitting will!” Remus said, throwing in a few unnecessary curses for good measure. Drake flushed bright red.

“You are embarrassing me,” Drake muttered.

“Oh good!” Remus cheered. “At least I’m doing something right.”

Drake’s eyebrows jumped as he came up with an idea. “You know, there is one thing I’m thinking about.”

“Hm?” Remus asked, almost disinterested.

“Roman’s quite flexible, I wonder if he could suck his own-”

“Gross! Nope! That’s enough, shut up, dude, that’s my brother!!!” Remus shouted.

Drake smirked. “Revenge is sweet.”

“I hate you,” Remus pouted. “I mean, it’s not like you weren’t already thinking about Mr. Quarterback’s man meat-”

“Please call it literally anything else,” Drake said.

“Dongbanger,” Remus supplied.

“I rescind my request,” Drake replied quickly. “That was somehow worse.”

“But then you gotta drag my gross slimy brother into this! Maybe I just wanna imagine my best friend getting fucked by his crushes in a super not gross way, can’t you just give me this?” Remus asked.

“You are the most sex-repulsed asexual I know,” Drake stated, frowning. “Why are you like this?”

“It’s different when I’m joking with you, man. I don’t know. Look, just ask them. They’ve already got four phalluses in that sausage party-”

“Why did your saying this ‘professionally’ make it even more uncomfortable for me?” Drake asked.

“-just ask for an invitation!” Remus finished, throwing his arms up in a wide shrug. Drake frowned at him.

“I don’t want- that. Not yet, anyway, I want an actual genuine connection. We don’t have that with one another,” Drake muttered. “They probably don’t even know me.”

“Pssh,” Remus waved his hand dismissively. “You’re my best friend! Roman’s gotta recognize you at least.”

“I doubt it, I’m never at your house,” Drake muttered. Remus sighed.

“Okay, you know what? If you go down there and ask all four of them out before the game ends, then I’ll stop talking about sex until graduation,” Remus proclaimed. Drake looked at him skeptically. Remus pursed his lips. “At school only.”

“Aha. Fine, I will make an effort,” Drake muttered. “But if they reject me, then you don’t get to make any comments of a sexual nature whenever you’re around me.”

“Drake, buddy, if you get rejected I will shave my baby mustache,” Remus snorted. Drake was taken aback. Remus would  _ never _ make a risky wager on his mustache. He had made plans to grow that thing out into a masterpiece. His dream of winning a mustache contest was as old as he himself was.

Drake made his way down the bleachers and to the fence separating the crowd from the field. He stood there awkwardly for a moment, seeing Roman now running some stretches with the other cheerleaders. A blonde girl pointed at him then, and Roman turned to look at him. He blushed bright red as Roman made his way over.

“Oh, hey! Drake, right? Does Remus need anything?” Roman asked. Drake was feeling hot from his fingertips to his ears, now.

“Oh. No. Um, I actually had a question,” Drake said.

“Oh, well, shoot!” Roman prompted, bouncing on his toes, and waving a pom pom invitingly. Drake bit his lip.

“Um. Are you and your boyfriends in an open relationship?” Drake asked. Roman blinked, then he grinned, his cheeks turning a rosy pink.

“Drake, are you asking your  _ best friend’s brother _ on a  _ date _ ? Isn’t there a bro code about that sort of thing?” Roman asked.

“I think when your best friend encourages it, then you may as well go ahead and ask his brother. So? Are you, um. Are you all interested?” Drake asked, and Roman gasped.

“All of us?” He asked, another grin on his face. Drake covered his face with his hands.

“Yes, all of you.”

Roman chuckled. “No one’s asked for all four of us before. You might just have a date, then, Drake. I’ll bring it up to them. Meet me outside after the game, to get your answer?” Roman asked. He batted his eyelashes as if on instinct, and Drake melted.

“Okay,” he said weakly. Roman flashed him a final grin, before darting back to join the other cheerleaders. The bleachers were beginning to get crowded, so Drake hurried to rejoin Remus and grab his seat.

The game started dully. Drake didn’t come out of love for the sport, and Remus didn’t come for any reason except that Drake came. Drake came to watch Virgil while he was off the field, wiping sweat from his face, and dunking water over his head. He came to watch Roman flip through the air and land doing a perfect split. He came to watch Logan take photos, and chat with the cheerleaders between routines and the benched players.

Seeing Patton today was a bonus. Patton sitting next to him in the bleachers was a down right gift from god.

“Hi, Drake!” Patton greeted. Drake spluttered.

“You remember me?” He asked.

“I mean, you did shout at me during a class debate in our freshman year?” Patton reminded. Drake felt himself going red as Remus cackled behind him. “It was very memorable.”

“I am very sorry,” Drake insisted. Patton giggled.

“You said so then, too! Roman says you want to ask us all on a date,” Patton said, and Drake felt like melting through the bleachers would probably be the most satisfying way to end this conversation.

“If you don’t want to, it’s fine-”

“No, no, I’d love to!” Patton interrupted. “If Virgil and Logan agree, that is.”

Oh god. Patton leaned into Drake’s shoulder, resting his hand on top of Drake’s. Melting would be both convenient and inconvenient at this time.

He glanced at Remus, who merely gifted him with the sight of two thumbs up. Drake felt the blood rush away from his face as his friend made to leave. Oh god, Remus was going to leave him here with his entirely undignified gay panic.

“Where are you going?” Drake asked, trying not to sound too freaked out. “The game’s barely started.”

“Football isn’t really my thing,” Remus announced. “I’m going home. Don’t you two get uncomfortable on my account, mkay?”

“Oh- have a safe trip home!” Patton called after him.

God, an utter sweetheart, wishing a traitorous wretch like Remus a safe trip.

If, later that evening, Drake wound up making out with the four most popular and most ineligible boys in school, and becoming the most envied and ineligible boy in school, then… that was his own business.

He’d thank Remus for leaving him without a ride home next time he saw him.


End file.
